I Can't Really Write.

I finished it as best I could, but things were a mess.  The Marijuana Business Plan was a bust.

I couldn't do my awesome best and that was killing me every time.

So I just sucked at it.  I didn't get all wordy, I wrote skin and bones for as much of it as I could make up.  I had this Gothic logo that I put on every page.  looking at it was just awful.  Painful.  Skinny.

The logo wasn't the problem.  the problem is that I didn't make it like he wanted it because me, my person and brain are not calibrated to suck up information and energy and turn it into words for someone else.  here, I can do it fine, ti's just for me to shoot the breeze.  But if I'm making it for someone else my wah! cycle starts and I fall down at the proverbial feet of writing, stone, cold, illiterate.  Super sad.  It was a fun experiment and he's going to decide in the morning what to do with me.  Very, Good Job Wesley, I'll most likely kill you in the morning."  But more serious, like I am going to kill you in the morning. I don't want to die.  But I can.  At least I'll do it at home in my bed, surrounded with purple.  Couldn't be that bad, right?

I want to change myself, but I don't know how.   I know that I'm going to probably take a pay cut, but I hope he pays me something, that person I hired looks like they took the money and ran. I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm investigating.  You suck freelancing world, I almost want to organize it some more.  But I have lost faith.

I can't really write.  I can't.