Fighting the problems

I've thought about lying before.  Making up great qualifications, and then figuring things out on the fly.  I'm sorry if that makes you laugh, because that means you are a jerk.  Fat people can lie too. 

Dumb people are more likely to lie.  Definitely fits in with the DUMB goals.  Personally I think you can only get things done using SMART goals. 

I almost think that there are only jobs for which I am underqualified.  What I mean, is that people only post super menial part time jobs and super difficult that require a lot of education and experience. 

I have this memory of Dolly Parton getting a job being a radio therapist by lying about her qualifications and then getting found out and having her reputation tarnished. 

It's like being a castaway in a boat on a huge ocean with no compass, no oars. 

And then I get to a job posting exhausted from trying to paddle with my arms, and it has no food and no water.  I lose hope, seeing a mirage. 

What are my paths?  I have a lot of DUMB high, lofty paths, which I go to when my SMART paths aren't working and I keep ignoring my GROW paths begging for attention.  Maybe that's the problem.  I'm ignoring the problems.  Displacing them and ignoring them.  I put my conscious wants and needs first.  I say, I'll deal with this later, or say someone else will deal with this.  Totally wrong of me. 

Fighting problems.  Imaginary dragons equals not easy by a long shot.  You can't fight your problems.  You just can't.  You can't fight them.  Problems aren't for fighting.  They are for solving. 

I just got a message from that guy I like and he says that unless I stop going to school he I don't love him.  I feel better and worse at the same time. 

Better, because I can skip this madness and that I don't have to choose someone who would make an ultimatum so crazy for me.  Worse, because.  I really like him.  He's nice.  He talks to me all the time.  We kind of mesh.  He's way younger than me like by 5 years.  So not so bad.  Maybe it's just stupid stuff.  It probably will always be stupid stuff.  I'm kind of self-coaching to be an old maid.  Every time I feel like someone rejects me, I add the pain to this ball of self hate.  I can never win.  If I get hurt, I look stupid to everyone else and they judge me too sensitive. If I ball it up, it's like this huge mess of stuff that I can't deal with that attacks me randomly.  I need a light saber.  lol. 

So the conclusion of that is that I'm skipping trying to find a job now.  I'm going back to school.  And I'm going to apply to everything under the sun in the career center to get a job there.  And while in school get a job with the school.  Yay, life better, mischief managed.  OMG, I'm stuck in the reference StarWars/Star Trek/HarryPotter Hole!Peace, out, night all.