How I went to school and got jobs and wanted to be a Truck Driver

Ok.  It's 9:37 pm on a Wednesday night, the second of December, 2015. 

Heavy shit is going down outside.  No more rain just the darkness of hate and oblivion.  I can hear cars go by, rushing by on Arkansas Rd., so there is life,  and it's busy and concentrated. 

I've just had a minor hurtbreak with my mom and I'm running on jazzed up energy from who knows what source.  I've been sleeping until 5 pm, and been finishing The History of Wonder Woman, a best selling book that has inspired me with it's haphazard sentences and unlinking paragraphs.  I'm inspired and awed that it made it to the best seller list.  It must be the love square, that tantalizes people.  And the feminism.   I've been eating candy.  A bar of chocolate and a bag of gummy worms.  My throat is raw from all the processed sugar. 

There are two more weeks left in the semester, and I have a homework breather, because nothing is due tomorrow.  I'm failing two classes at least.  Not the first class I've failed, but the first that I tried and failed.  College is also another serious taboo.  (Side Rant:  If Obama wants to make higher education free, let's let him.)  You can't talk about what happened in college, or god forbid, your face turns green and your genitals fall off.  What happens in college stays in college.    At least until some aspiring historian researches it.  

So classes.  if I fail two I have 6 left.  I can take 5 in the spring semester and 1 during the summer.  I think.  Financial Aid is a little borderline bipolar.  So that 's where I am with that. 

So why the job, why now?  If I get a degree I get a better job.  Shouldn't I be starting now, early, to find a job? 

Which brings up all the usual questions.  What kind of job?

University Studies doesn't exactly prepare you for the workplace.  I have all these English Classes.  Some Communication, Spanish, Math, History, Political Science.  I feel like I have a secretary degree. 

I look back on my classes, and although I learned a lot, I didn't carry a lot with me, so it's hard looking back to see how my classes shaped me. 

I have a lot of odd jobs, working at restaurants and student jobs.  I feel like my experience volunteering and some of my jobs at Chuck E. Cheese and Babies 'R Us, have been leading me towards childcare of some sort. 

So there's a secretary education. 

So there's childcare experience. 

There's guidance of some sort to what I'm doing.


I could get my CDL.  This is my most secret private wish.  And I don't want everyone going out and getting their truck driver's license, because I say it's a good idea.  In fact I hope you all become doctors and firemen.  But I, boring humble, I keep this as a "safety" in case everything falls through.  I don't need a huge education to drive a truck.  Books on tape.  Ninja's company.  Truck Stops.  Occasional poetry.  Travel.  Blending with the churches.  Not bad.   It's a dream. 

There's the fact that I don't have a truck.  and they are probably really expensive.  There's the fact that I have to convince my mom.  Irregular hours.  Hard to learn maneuvers.  The fact that I haven't been driving since 16.  Getting to places on time.  Long hours.  Ice on the road. 

One of the memories I had from when I was a kid.  My mom, my aunt Sharon, my sister and brother and I were all traveling towards Colorado from Texas, we were taking a break from my dad, since they fought so much.  We slid out on the highway off the ice on the road.  We stopped at a truck stop afterwards and the truckers said they saw us, but couldn't stop themselves because they too would have slid on the slick roads, and it's one thing for a little four door, but for a tanker truck to slide on the ice would be disastrous. 


So that "If I fail out of college" dream. 

So I have a strange urge and desire to become a truck driver, kind of flips my secretary and childcare plans on it's head, but it's the only thing I feel like I'd get a buzz off doing.