Friday, September 30, 2016

Can't Write Anymore

Having weird flashbacks to when I first dropped out of school at Texas State.  For those of you who don't remember I did that Fall 2005.  What would have been my junior year.  Also, when I flunked a Psychology class at UTA by not going. That was one of my forever Senior years.    I still don't remember much of what happened that semester.

I'm up and I'm not at school.  I'm wishing I could go back to bed and turn off the world, but not today, folks.  Today I'm writing a blog. 

Here it is, ladies.  How I escaped my mental anguish by stuffing my emotions into words and getting a job in writing.  That's the thing. I don't know if I can write anymore.  Writing breaks.  It's like childhood.  You write and you think you have something and it's not, it's not a glorious diamond that you've unearthed, it's your dog's drooly half-eaten tennis ball that you've found buried under the shed.  And you think, Aw god, if only I had this experience or that person in my life, everything would change.   If only I had asked to try out for the tympani drums sophomore year in high school that I had spent all night practicing for, things would be different.  If only I were braver.  Well, this is how it is.  You are broken.  Hacked.  Desiccated.  A husk. 

Write on.