I want a job. I need a job. I have a job. I have panic attacks when I get on the computer to look for a job. I have a part time job at a fast food restaurant and not much experience, mostly entry level.
No one believes in me.
I keep having panic attacks. Just today. I am looking for work at home jobs and they are either too technical and advanced or fake jobs.
I feel like I'm trying to write about the future, what happens to me in the future and I don't know anything about what happens to me in the future. I keep trying to bring myself back to myself, but I'm lost.
How to find a job in the midst of an existential crisis? I don't have anyone to trust.
I trust my mom to an extent, but I don't trust that she would appreciate or support me.
I don't really have anyone else in my life other than Elizabeth L., (recently, Billie), and Marie. And those three keep trying to dump me in the river. I'm a boring body.
So much for networking and marketing. I've been thinking about starting a series on networking and marketing, but I don't know that I'd be able to do all the upkeep, and fulfill the growth promised.
The idea is to go to as many of the meetups as I could in a month. Just go. And talk to people and network. I'm thinking about it. But March is coming up...Beware the IDES. Kinda just want to keep on keeping on.
Maybe I'm stressed about getting a new job because I'm not happy with my current job. I don't like the way my coworkers treat me. It's not that they are rude, in fact I don't think I've ever heard so many thank you's and pleases, and I'm sorry's. I think it's their attitude. Maybe it's my bad attitude? I will continue to try and do a good job and have the right attitude. I'm pretty positive.
I keep praying and I know that I'm going to be pushed off the ice cliff and into the waiting tiger seal's mouth. I keep feeling them pushing me over the edge of my mind. These people who are pushing me, are the church people. I do feel like a penguin. Also Antarctica is the only safe place left.
How to find a job. I feel incomplete so much of the time. Don't you have to feel wonderful to get a job?
Are we going through a recession? What is the most practical use of my time and money towards education to get a great paying and stable job?
I feel like I've done all this before and didn't get anywhere. So depressing.
So now I'm doing it all over again to get another dead end job?
I feel like education and job searches are a betting game. Do I bet on graphic design? Do I bet on insurance? What do I bet on to be a viable career? Who and what will be needed in four years?
Where is God in all of this? Adding Him provides another killing element to my soul. I have to live life by His (read churches') rules, too. And the churches' rules are the worst. They aren't even for you. They are personal things for others. At least that is how it has been for me. Aren't I supposed to put God first? How could I put Him first? Would He be my mother's God? Or some other person's appraisal of God? Would I have to work at 6 Flags? I get that spiritual message, a lot. I almost was a manager there, but I think most of 6 Flags has been worked out of me, through Whataburger. I don't see me going back.
So depressed and getting even more depressed.
I throught writing was supposed to help me. Cartharsis, and all that.
Question of the day:
How did you get the job you currently work at?
