Job Searching Searching

Lately, I've been torn between choosing a job that is readily available and choosing a job that I would love.  Because I love animals.  But A LOT of people LOVE animals and there just isn't that great of a pool out there.  Although, I would love a job that involved animals, is it really worth it, to slave away at a job that involves something I love but that I would never feel really worthy of because I know people who would be tons better at the job than I would be?  Here I'm really devaluing myself.  Maybe I'm just discouraged.  

Lately, I've been thinking.  I have a job.  Maybe I should just stop there.  It's good enough.  The major qualms I have about this job are:

1. That it is not full time yet, and may never be if I'm not good enough.  
2. That the pay is not awesome.  $9.00/hr is great, but not enough to live on.  
3.  The work is flipping burgers.  Not something great or grand or magnificent.  

I love my job already and will put my heart and soul into flipping those burgers, but is it what I really want to do with my life?  I know I shouldn't say "This is good enough."  

So where do we go from here?  Should I keep at the job I love because I love it and it will work out in the end?  Should I pick up the job I hate because that's more long lasting and I can use my grittiness on it?  I've got all these loose ends. Should I check out admin assistant jobs, which I haven't so far out of deference to my mom's admin assistant job?   Should I try at home jobs, because I hate staying at home and because most are part time, they would fit in with my Whataburger job?  

That's what I've been leaning into, lately. (also using the word "lately" a lot.)   At home jobs.  If I can find a part time one, I'd have something to do on the weekends, anyhow.  And in my mind, I hate being at home all the time, but my lazy self, I love to relax as I do things.  (This does have the same problems as animal jobs, as I think everyone would love to work from home.) 

So as far as the list of job categories goes, here it is.

General (ex. warehousing)
Kids
Animals
At Home
Administrative Assistant
Restaurant
Entertainment/Tourism
Sales and Marketing
Car Related

I don't really hate or love any specific area.  

On the one hand, since I got this job I felt like I should take a break from job searching, but on the other hand,I don't want my job searching skills to get rusty, especially if I'm not at this job very long.  

After some deliberation, I have decided to stop searching for a job for a month, the month of October, and devote my full attention to my new job at Whataburger.  Also, this will give me time to choose a career path, decide where my life is going or not going and choose a direction.  

I got a Job

I got one.

Whataburger.

Part time increased to Full time, if I'm a good worker.

a dollar more than I'm making at Subway.

I can get there by using Uber.

Ryan Brown does this, and it seems to work for him.

I did the math and i still seem to turn a profit.

Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?  Am I having flashbacks of my Aunt Peggy working at Chick-fil-a?  Am I worried about my vegetarian lifestyle?  All these questions plague me.  I worry about leaving Subway too soon. I love working there.  I thought that they had enough people that I was not needed anymore, but I may have moved to soon.

How did I get the job?  I got the job from indeed, found the phone number from Google, and called to see what was the best way to get hired.  From there, I filled out an application online.  They called me to schedule an interview.  I barely got there on time with an uber, and had a last minute interview.  I have to call to apologize for not getting my information in earlier, but was detained unavoidably.

That is the boring story of how I got the job.

Am I still going to look for another job?  It's that or going back to school.  I don't know which at this point, but I'm looking at Horticulture.  The two problems with the program that I can see is that it is during the day for one and at the North East campus for two. Thus, if I'm working during the day, I might have problems with scheduling and it's a far drive for me.  I'm not ruling it out yet, but scheduling and location conflicts are real.  

I've got to pray that the Lord lets me make it these next two weeks.

Writer Panic Attacks

I've been having panic attacks spinning articles for this one site. I used to sit down and chug out word after word of nothing to complete a $3-5 article, but for my body, I suppose my standards have risen.  I can't write about something about which I'm not passionate.  How strange that such standards would manifest themselves in fear and panic attacks.

So how do you deal with panic attacks that are keeping you from earning your bread and butter?  This site is the only site with regular work that I'm a part of that I know I can write something and make solid money doing it.

Nick Usborne, in When Panic Attacks Writers promises that if you have a panic attack related to writing that you should take two hours away, doing something else.  I think he's right.  My brain is still on write mode though, I just might finish this.

Waiting for my life to come around

I have to do it.  I'm not doing it.

I'm waiting for "it" to "feel" "right."

It's like the stars have to align for things to be right, but really it's people and energy management.  Things you can't really do consciously.  It's like the unexplored section between consciousness and subconsciousness.

Just got to "do" it even if it's "bad."  And it's gonna be bad.

...If I don't wait for the right time.